Animal abandon

Last night I went to a concert I’ve been looking forward too for a long time. Actually I can now say I have seen one of those acts that I have on my must-see-before-I-die-list (the actual list is undefined and only in my head, some other cravings are Tori Amos, Coldplay and Tom Waits).

Now I feel like I’ve been sleeping with nine inch nails.

I had forgotten what a bodily experience it is to hear live music, and you certainly feel the music of Nine Inch Nails. Hard and heavenly beats. Screeching sounds that blur into an amazing harmony.

Hearing NIN live made me realize what a great singer and perfomer Trent Reznor actually is. His figure on stage is one of fierce emotion and power, even though his clothing and demeanour are unspectacular and humble. I shivered when that little grey-clad pale man stepped out from a haze of bright light and smoke. And seeing the jumbling and sweaty naked arms of the drummer made me truly respect the physicality and strenght that lies behind performing these rolling and jarring beats live.

“Your God is dead. And no one cares. If there is a hell, I’ll see you there.” Heresy.

“I want to f**k you like an animal. I want to feel you from the inside. I want to f**k you like an animal. My whole existence is flawed. You get me closer to God.” Closer.

“Head like a hole. Black as your soul. I’d rather die than give you control.” Head like a hole.

” What have I become? My sweetest friend. Everyone I know. Goes away in the end. You could have it all. My empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.” Hurt. (This one makes me cry).

There is a point to the hard language in the lyrics. It means more than just the first reaction of shock and offensiveness. It shows something real. Pain but also helplessness and confusion. It’s strange that one human can contain hurt and apathy at the same time. Something animal is exposed. Rage. Lust. Wanting. Inevitably loss and grief. And the audience feels it. They can relate to that animal abandon all too well.